he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's never too late to be topless.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
