Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
