Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
