I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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