some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
