and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
