It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Shame - the story of my life.
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