so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
