Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
