I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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