Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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