There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
