idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
