like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
