I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Only a mothe r could love this liver
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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