im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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