I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
