I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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