What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
MIDGETS
????
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
