i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
