I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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