he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
