i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
