went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
lol hangovers are for mortals.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
