I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she pinky promised me she was 18
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
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