i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
