This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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