these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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