People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
no, he came in my armpit
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
