I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
