Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
time to smoke my breakfast
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize