u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
