what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
