You smell like a Billy Joel song
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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