He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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