Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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