I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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