Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
