What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
