I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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