how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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