First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize