I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
