Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
