i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
