The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I think i got beer on your cat.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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