so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
