i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
