yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize