I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
