just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
