New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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