Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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