Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
