My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
