it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
