Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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