we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
