Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Just cropdusted the office
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
