Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
