can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
