Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
