Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
