we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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