I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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